Fireside
by jaybear1701
Summary: Prequel. One-Shot. Fang and Vanille's discussion after they become l'Cie on Gran Pulse.


**A/N: **I'm taking a quick break from my other story, "In the Middle," with this Fang/Vanille one-shot. (Just so I'm clear, this is completely separate from ITM). After I read Lissar's Episode Zero translations at dilly-shilly (dot) blogspot (dot) com, this scene just kind of popped into my head and wouldn't leave... so here it is! This is a prequel set immediately after Fang and Vanille become l'Cie (see Episode Zero Chapter 7: Tomorrow). I thought I'd dabble with first-person POV for this...just for the heck of it. Hope you enjoy it and drop me a line to let me know what you think! :)

* * *

She hasn't said one word me to me since we left the Temple.

Fang and I walk in silence down a mountain path that will lead us back home to Oerba, our muffled footsteps on the dirt mixing with the croaking calls of mating Ceratosaurs. Evening is falling, and the glow from Cocoon now shines down upon us like a golden moon. It's a viper's nest filled with evil waiting to strike... and yet I secretly find it to be beautiful sometimes. Not that I would ever admit that to anyone, especially not Fang.

I do my best to keep up with my raven-haired companion, having to move my legs twice as fast to keep up with her long strides. I don't want to be left behind. But doing so makes my short skirt brush up against the sensitive skin just below my left hip. It still stings. Wincing, I lower my hand to gingerly rub the raw spot where I've recently been branded...like cattle...by Anima.

My heart skips a beat as I remember the priests' eerie chants and prayers inside the fal'Cie's Temple. They had echoed throughout the cavernous inner sanctum, encouraging the fal'Cie as its blue, snake-like tendrils wrapped around me to bestow its "gift." But even more disturbing than that was the vision of a howling beast - a monstrosity in every sense of the word. Even the mere memory of it's thunderous roar makes me shudder. Was that... our Focus?

I glance at Fang's toned right arm where her beautifully tanned skin is now marred by the same dark mark. Does Fang's hurt as well, I wonder? I want to reach out to her, but I know I shouldn't. She's upset at me... upset that I became a l'Cie...like her. Despite knowing that, all I want is to wrap my arms around her and pull her close.

But I can't.

I can't do that any more than I can find the courage to tell her just how much she means to me. I'm a coward. I know it. But how do you tell the woman of your dreams... the woman who could have anyone in the world she wanted... that you love her? She's gorgeous and brave and courageous and kind. She makes me feel strong when I know I'm weak. Someone like her would never want someone like me.

And so I keep my distance with a bright smile, as I always have ever since I realized I was in love with her.

We eventually reach a cove on the side of the mountain, and she stops. "We'll camp here for the night," she says without looking at me, dropping her satchel.

"Okay," I say as cheerfully as possible. I crouch and collect small rocks to build a fire pit, while she searches in her bag for leftover tinder and wood. After I arrange the stones in a small circle, she places the inflammable material inside it.

"You're a ravager now," she kneels across from me on the other side of the pit. "Better start gettin' some practice in."

I chance a glance at her, relieved she's at least talking to me again. But the neutral expression on her face, where a normally warm one would be for me, makes my chest contract painfully, and I look away quickly. I close my eyes and raise my hands, focusing my concentration on heat and flame. A warm spark tingles from somewhere deep within me. It spreads from my core and moves throughout my body to the tips of my fingers.

Opening my eyes, I am astonished to see a small ball of fire burning brightly between my hands, its red, yellow, and orange hues illuminating the cove. I can feel its heat, but it does not burn me. I try to hold back a squeak of delight, but escapes from my lips anyway.

"Good job, Vanille," Fang says, impressed. The pride in her voice makes me melt on the inside. "Now direct it to the pit."

I nod and aim the flaming sphere toward the center of the circle of rocks, willing it to project from my hands.

"Gently now," she advises. But I'm either too eager or too anxious, or both, and the fire blazes forth from me, enveloping the pit while also shooting toward Fang. She lets out a startled yelp as she dodges to one side, just barely escaping the inferno I unleashed.

"I'm sorry!" I exclaim, mortified. Maybe I'm not cut out to be a l'Cie after all. "Are... are you okay?"

Surprisingly, Fang chuckles, and I instantly relax. She's alright. "We're gonna have to work on that, yeah?" She smiles at me now and an exhilarated thrill runs through me. "At least you got the fire started."

I hunker down and she pulls out our dinner from her bag - various dried meats and canned vegetables. She quickly opens two cans and sets them in the middle of the fire. I pull my knees to my chest as I watch her unhook a survival knife from her belt and start cutting the meat. The warm light of the fire softens her features, and I find I could watch her for hours on end.

Silence falls between us again amid the snap and crackle from the flames. I hate it. I hate not talking to my best friend. And so I work up the courage to ask, "Fang, are you still mad at me?" I hope I don't sound as pitiful as I feel.

Her hands still briefly, but then resume her task. "I'm not mad at you, Vanille," she replies.

There truly is no anger in her voice, and for that I'm relieved. But I still don't understand why she's been so quiet. "Then what's wrong?" I press on.

She sighs and pauses again, looking down at her upper right arm. "Vanille, I didn't want _this_ for you." She looks up at me, concern now glimmering in her emerald orbs. "Why didn't you tell me you wanted to become a l'Cie?"

There would be no point in lying to her... about that at least. "Because you wouldn't have let me come otherwise," I answer honestly.

"Damn straight," she promptly agrees with a nod.

"Well, what about you?" I ask. "Why didn't you tell me you planned on attacking Anima?"

In my mind's eye, I can still see the shocked looks on the priests' faces as Fang berated the fal'Cie and swore to kill it for doing nothing to protect Gran Pulse from Cocoon's attacks. She was right. While Cocoon's fal'Cie pillaged our lands, our own fal'Cie merely dug tunnels through the ground and created l'Cie after l'Cie, many of whom eventually became Cie'th. And some of them had been our friends... our family... from Oerba. I can feel the sting of tears forming behind my eyes, and I take a deep breath to keep them at bay.

Fang smiles sadly at me before finally replying, "Because I knew you'd talk me out of it."

We both laugh then, both exasperated and comforted with how well we know each other. She leans forward to give some of the meat to me. I reach out and take the food, trying not to shiver when our hands brush against each other in the exchange. I take a bite of the jerky. It's salty and tough and not to my liking. But it's all we have, and I won't complain.

"Vanille?" This time Fang breaks the stillness. "Did you mean what you said?" She sounds uncertain. Fang never sounds uncertain.

"What I said?" Her question comes while I'm in mid-chew. I cover my mouth with my hand as I speak.

"In the Temple," she clarifies.

I swallow a large chunk of meat. "I said lots of things in the Temple."

Fang clears her throat and avoids my gaze. She stares directly into the fire. "That... you want us to be together...forever..."

Oh that. Of course she'd focus on that. My heart starts pounding in my chest and I pray to Her Providence that Fang can't see the heat I can already feel spreading through my cheeks.

"Yes, of course," I plaster on my best smile and keep my tone light and cheery. I can't tell her how I can't live without her, or how I'd follow her to the ends of Gran Pulse if I could. So instead, I merely say, "We're family after all." I've gotten so used to hiding my feelings for her. It comes so naturally now.

She looks directly at me, and the intensity of her gaze is just too much for me to bear. So I look at the fire instead and try to will my heartbeat to slow down.

* * *

Family.

I try not to feel disappointed by the word. It's the truth, after all. Vanille will always be my family. But my stomach sinks anyway. I can't help but want more. I love her. I always have. From the moment she held my hand and welcomed me with a wide and bright grin to the orphanage all those years ago, I knew there'd be no one else for me.

Vanille - my smiling angel.

"I never did thank you, did I?" I say.

"What for?" Her gaze, now curious, shyly meets mine once again.

"Stopping the priests," I reply, thinking back on how my childhood friend shielded me from the guardians' spears with her own body. Attacking Anima, even if the useless fal'Cie rightly deserved it, was not one of my better plans. And while I initially had reservations about Vanille tagging along with me in the first place, if she hadn't been there... I'd probably be dead.

"Someone's gotta keep you outta trouble." She winks at me, her green eyes reflecting the subtle flicker of the firelight.

"And I'm sorry," I continue. "If I had been stronger," or less impulsive, "You wouldn't have had to become a l'Cie."

The amusement leaves her expression, replaced by a somberness that was rare for the usually happy-go lucky girl. "Fang, I told you before, I made up my mind to become a l'Cie long before we even set foot in the Temple. It was my choice. Mine alone." She shakes her head. "You're not the only one who wants to protect Oerba and our family."

I'm not sure I believe her. I thought she had just said that in the moment so I wouldn't feel guilty. But she looks so sincere. Before we can continue the conversation, the sizzling sound of liquid turning to steam fills the air. I had forgotten about the cans of food, their contents now bubbling over into the fire.

Without thinking, I grab one of the cans and then instantly drop it with a hiss of pain. It spills all over the ground, and I cradle my hand close to my chest.

"Fang!" Vanille's voice is full of concern. She swiftly raises herself on her knees and unfolds her binding rod, using it to fish out the remaining can from the pit. After setting it down, she rushes to my side and kneels next to me, pulling out a pouch of supplies.

"It's nothing," I say quickly, embarrassed by my lack of forethought.

"Let me see it anyway," she commands.

I grimace as she takes my hand in hers. My palm is red and swollen from the burn. It hurts like a son-of-a-bitch. She winces in sympathy and then begins rummaging through her pouch. She pulls out a small canister of salve, but stares at it for a few seconds in hesitation. What is she waiting for?

"I guess I don't really need this, huh?" She sounds unsure, but she puts on a brave smile nonetheless. It's one of the things I love about her. She puts it back in the pouch.

I nod to her, somewhat reluctantly. As a l'Cie, she has curative powers now. Even if she has difficulty with control, it can't possibly end in near disaster like her earlier fire spell. Or so I hope. Vanille scoots closer to me and closes her eyes in concentration. She's beautiful... and she doesn't even know it. The pain in my hand disappears as I focus on her and her alone. A soft blue glow envelops our hands and a cool sensation flows to my palm, making it prickle like a waking a limb. The feeling is gone before I know it, and my hand is completely healed.

"It worked!" She says happily, letting me go.

Even I'm impressed. I flex my fingers several times, relieved they're still functioning. "I appreciate it," I say to the new medic in gratitude.

Overjoyed, she launches herself toward me and wraps her arms around my shoulders. While such signs of affection from her weren't uncommon, her sudden embrace catches me off-guard and I fall backwards. My own hands grasp at her hips as she lands on top of me, a squirming mass of warm suppleness. A jolt goes through my body every time she moves against me. It takes all my willpower to lie still.

She lifts herself up from me slightly, her face mere inches from mine. "Sorry, Fang." She has a sheepish expression on her face. Looking up at her, with the fire illuminating the contours of her lips and the curve of her jaw, my heart pounds in double time. I can't stop myself from reaching up to brush her cheek with the back of my fingers. Her breath hitches at my touch and she closes her eyes.

Her reaction is all that's needed for my brain to shut off and my body to go completely on autopilot. I cup her cheek and hold her in place. Closing my eyes, I raise my head and press my lips against hers. Her mouth is so soft. It's heavenly and perfect - everything I imagined it would be. And it's over as quickly as it began. The bliss that initially filled me is now being quickly replaced by dread. My mind boots up to scream at me that I'm going to ruin everything.

I pull away slightly, bracing myself for when Vanille tears herself away from me. Even though I'm afraid to look at her, I open my eyes anyway... and am surprised to see not disgust on her face, but wonder.

"Vanille, I'm sor-" I start to apologize, but before I can finish, she places her fingers on my lips, silencing me. She leans forward and captures my lips again gently. I breathe her in as we melt into each other, expressing everything we've kept hidden through the touch. This time the kiss lasts considerably longer, but not long enough before Vanille breaks away. I miss the feel of her already. Her face remains within centimeters of mine.

"Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to do that?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

She laughs softly, shaking her head. "Then why didn't you do it sooner?"

Because I'm a coward - but I can't say that. I've got a rep to protect, yeah? So I merely shrug. "For the same reason you didn't."

She takes a deep breath and regards me with a serious expression. "Fang, I... I became a l'Cie because..."

I interrupt her with another kiss. She doesn't have to explain it to me. I already felt her reasons. "I know," I say simply when our lips part. I look her straight in the eye. "We'll finish this focus." I'll die before I let her turn Cie'th. "I won't let anything happen to you."

Tears spring to her eyes and she buries her head in the crook of my neck, holding me tightly. I'm so happy right now I feel like I'm floating. It's selfish of me. I know. I never wanted this life for her. And yet... I'm glad she's here with me.

"Promise me..." she whispers.

"Anything." I softly kiss her forehead.

"Promise me we'll be together forever."

"I promise," I pull her even closer. "We'll never be apart...no matter what."

I should be worried. Hell, I should be scared shitless. Most l'Cie never finish their focus. But with Vanille, I can already tell that things will be different for us. That we won't meet the same tragic end as some of our predecessors. That we'll be just fine if only we stay together. We hold each other for the rest of the night by the fire, and fall asleep in each others' arms.


End file.
